When I was in my 20s, I felt ready for the world. I felt strong and fearless enough to take on all challenges. To some degree I felt invisible. I felt like only my health could get in my way. But I became burned out by the end of my 20s. I felt disappointed with my life because I’d failed to manage my work and life balance.
Life became a cycle of working all day, commuting up to four hours, and having a total of two to three hours for myself. And in those two to three hours I was too exhausted to do anything besides sit and gaze at the wall.
Weekends were pretty much the same as my weekday evenings. I was too exhausted to do anything meaningful on Saturdays. On Sundays I was anxious about beginning the cycle anew the next day.
When it comes to exhaustion, things are much worse in my early 30s, because my sickle cell is affecting me more than it did 10 years ago. I’m fatiguing easier, and my body experiences pains daily. But now I’ve learned how to cope with the work and life balance. Today I want to share what has helped me be at peace with my situation in life.
How to fix your work and life balance
Get a hobby so you’ll have something unrelated to work to keep your mind busy
When you’re at the point when work has swallowed you up and spat you out repeatedly, its time to add something fulfilling to your life.
When people think of hobbies, they may think of things like playing video games, or going to the cinema or the theatre, or going to the gym, or doing yoga. These things are all great hobbies, but they shouldn’t be the only things you aim to introduce into your life. These are things you should add in addition to something else.
What I mean is that you should add something to your life that increases your value as a person over time. Add something to your life that will force you to develop new skills, give you joy and fulfillment, and that you can watch grow and improve week to week. This could be something like starting a blog, or learning to paint, or learning to illustrate, or learning to play the piano.
You might not think it, but introducing a new skill-based hobby to your life will raise your value outside of work. In the longterm these skills that you pick up can lead to new revenue streams. For instance, if you’re learning to play an instrument, maybe you could be paid to teach someone else in a couple years, once you’ve mastered it.
The more skills you learn, the more future opportunities you create for yourself. And not only might this make it possible for you to leave the daily grind someday, but you’ll also begin to feel happier in the present moment because you’ll no longer be defined by your day job only.
Get a social life or find new friends
I’m an introvert myself, so I keep my social circle limited to a small group of people that I can count on to be my support system. But for many people, they put a great emphasis on their social life. The important thing to understand here is that as you get older, your bonds will dwindle. People are getting married, building families and focusing on careers. Growing apart from childhood friends is a natural part of the maturing process, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seek new friendships.
In my experience, great peace of mind can come from meeting new people who share some of your inner qualities. Those childhood friends you grew apart from became your friends because you went to school together, or because you had mutual friends, or because your families were close. Childhood friends are rarely attained because you clicked on a certain hobby, interest or belief. That’s why it’s a beautiful thing when you’re able to make new friends later in life, as its more likely the pairing will come from something that is a valuable part of who you are as a person.
That’s not to say you should cut off your childhood friends, or college / uni mates. But if you feel as though your social life isn’t doing anything for your work and life balance, or if you have zero social life at all… It’s time to meet some new people.
How to meet new people
If you’re at a loss for ways to meet new people then refer to the new hobbies you want to take on. Think about places you could go to meet like-minded people with the same interests.
For example, if you want to take up reading, why not join a book club? If you want to be a writer, maybe sign up for a writer’s workshop, or find a writing critique group. If you want to take up Yoga, then the good thing is that you’ll run into other people at your Yoga class.
When in doubt, visit meetup.com to find different meetup groups in your area, based on a range of hobbies and interests.
Here’s a bonus tip: I may have said earlier that you can outgrow friends. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t go and spark up a conversation with someone you haven’t heard from in years. If there’s someone from your past that you remember having something in common with, why not check in with them? See how they’re doing and ask if they still indulge in that mutual interest. If can’t hurt, even if they don’t respond.
Plan a career switch
This ties into gaining a new skill-based hobby. Basically, if you’re burned out and depressed about your day job, you need to start taking small steps towards switching careers.
I know depression can get you down, to the point you feel hopeless about life. There are times when you’ll think that life can never improve. Not to mention, you have all these bills to think about that make you dependent on your day job. And when you add in relationships and children, the pressure continues to mount.
But just do this one thing… think about what the ideal situation would be for you. Would it be working from home? Starting your own business? Switching to a new career in a field that doesn’t match your degree or work history? Think about what this ideal work situation is for you, and then write a bulleted list of what you need to do to get there. Once you have this, all you need to do is spend at least one hour per week working towards this goal.
Maybe that one hour per week will turn into three, four or five hours over time. But taking the first steps to get there is what will allow you to start working towards your ideal life scenario. And in a years time, maybe you’ll be there already. It takes time and dedication, but it beats being stuck in the same situation forever and living in a continuous state of depression.
Putting yourself around people who share your goal, or people you can learn from will accelerate this process even more. Hence, all three of my tips are linked together.
Bonus tip: Switch to a career that doesn’t feel like work.
Don’t forget to travel!
There’s one last thing I want to add here. Travelling the world is important for your mental health. You need to see that there are other cultures out there, with different belief systems. And I don’t just mean that you should go away to a holiday resort for a week. Really travel and explore the environments of these different countries. Speak with the locals and soak in the atmosphere.
Doing this is like taking the red pill in The Matrix. You begin to see that you’re trapped in a system that you need to break free from. It will fill you with the motivation needed to address your work and life balance.
And when you pick up your new value based hobbies and switch to a more suitable career, I believe you’ll find that you’ll gain even more opportunities to travel. Especially if you transition into working for yourself. Combining work and travel has been an essential part of me seeing more of the world.
Share your thoughts below!